Little Man is super smart and scored well on all his kindergarten assessments so a few weeks back I cautioned the Case Manager that soon we would have to come up with some answers for his current situation. He laughed at me and then somewhat blew me off. Yeah I didn’t appreciate that but whatever it happens I guess it wasn’t urgent and pressing to him.
So Monday Little Man is in the car with me “Is Grandma Big Sis’s Mommy?” It caught me off guard, no Grandma is Grandma to Big Sis. Mommy is Mommy to you, Big Sis and Little Bit.
“Why is Big Sis living with Grandma and not with you?” Yep knew this one was coming so I reply “Well Grandma is a foster Mom like me. Remember when I said I trained your Grandma and that is how she knows me? Big Sis came into care before you did so she went with Grandma because I had other kids at the time.” He did recall the conversation, phew load off there.
“Why does Daddy work so much he can’t take me home?” Again I am stumped I have no idea what Dad is doing and if he is actually working but no matter how I answer this one it gets messy so I opt for the very lame “Buddy I just don’t know” Besides the truth is Dad said he does not want them back full time ever again.
My mind is racing, secretly I am praying he is done for now and waves of relief flood over me as I see he has dropped off to sleep. I get home and email the questions to the Case Manager with a plea “How should I answer these?” I am not surprised the next day he replies “We will have to talk about this on Tuesday”
Now I am frustrated what am I suppose to do for the next week evade all questions and pray he sleeps each time. Today again he asks why Dad has to work so much. I remind him I did not know but also reminded him that on Tuesday I see both his parents for a meeting so maybe I can ask him then. He then announces “Mommy said in one night I am going for sleep overs” I know this was not said and I let him know that I know Mom did not in fact say this and he flies into a rage. I attempt to calm him down by explaining that I did understand why he wanted this to happen but that it in fact was not going to happen even if he wished it. Rage flashes through his eyes and I don’t blame him all week he questions and has no answers. Now he has wishes and no one can make them come true, oh my it is tough being 5.
I have no idea how to address this issue with him. I don’t want to use words his parents object to but saying they are “sick” will cause him to freak every time someone gets a common illness. The training I went to said tell kids that they were taking medicine the doctor did not give them. Well that won’t work either because Tylenol and Motrin I buy and give kids when ill. What in the world do I say that won’t put the parents in a negative light or make him feel he can change this situation.
I know I know wait until Tuesday. But what happens when I don’t have answers then either?