I was in my cubicle today at work and I was deep into data entry when I heard someone call my name. I turn to see the office gossip at my entrance. I sigh, I don’t usually have patience for her, my life has enough drama without her but I am running a new program now and she might have a question so I turn and ask “What’s up?”
She says to me with a voice so sickly sweet you want to barf “Do you celebrate Mother’s Day since you are not the kids real mother?”
I am stunned and ask to what she is referring and she states “Well you adopted two and foster two so you are not a real mom.” I quickly swallow my rage as I struggle to put a sentence together that does not include obscenities. How can you possibly be so ignorant I wonder to myself as I stare blankly at her not trusting my voice just yet. Caution I tell myself, choose your words carefully so this doesn’t come back to haunt you she is after all the office gossip.
“Why yes we do celebrate it in our house. My two adopted children usually give me a card and sometimes the oldest will make me a cup of coffee. The youngest usually blesses me with a homemade craft. We then go to the Tulip Festival where I take photos of the girls in front of the flowers, we come home and they pick their favorite to send to their other Mom. The kids tell me their wishes for their other Mother and I type them up and email them to her with a current picture. We have done this for years it is part of our tradition. The younger kids saw their other Mom today so we sent off a photo album with some photos and a card that they both signed. I hope she liked it as the kids loved putting it together for her” I reply trying to act all casual.
“Hmm,” she says “But doesn’t it bother you that you aren’t their real mother?”
I sigh, so much ignorance so little time. I say to her “We all celebrate holidays different. I respect your customs and don’t expect that you would understand mine as you have no idea what it means to adopt children but no big deal because I have no idea what it means to give birth. So how are you celebrating?”
Honestly I didn’t listen as she prattled on about her perfect world with her perfect children, to each his own I figured. Eventually she left and I was relieved as I went back to work. A few minutes later another co worker goes to leave for the day and swings by saying “Hey Happy Mother’s Day!” and then she stopped and said “It is OK I say that right I mean you will celebrate with your kids won’ t you?”
Heck yes I will. We will celebrate our togetherness as a family and also give respects to the other Moms that made it possible.