Best Laid Plans…

Little one has been adjusting to being with me. She no longer cries when I hold her just mumbles a protest which I acknowledge and move on. Little guy is doing really well and actually asked to snuggle into my arm this morning.  They seem to be adjusting and for this I am happy but at the same time I am sad.

Yesterday should have been the 72 hour hearing. Problem is no one filed for custody so there was no hearing. Dad has not returned any phone calls and Mom did show up for a visit but did not file to get her children back. I am dumbfounded how could no one come forward to claim these two beautiful children. The supervisor told me there are “absolutely no resources for these children” and the case manager told me “they are not going home any time soon”. My heart is broken for these little  ones how can a parent or family not step up. I know I shouldn’t judge and I am trying not to but in all 8 years I have fostered I have never heard of not having a 72 hour hearing never.

The irony is that today I am suppose to talk to a perspective agency. The storm moved in and the snow is coming down hard so I have to cancel that meeting. I also have to post phone the adoption plan because I have a placement right now and cannot take in more children. I didn’t have to take them in but I did and now as we move forward my plan, the adoption plan, must be put on hold again. My BFF asked me last night when we went to pick up some clothes for little man “What if these are your kids? What if these are the two you have been praying for?”  It seems kind of pie in the sky and I dismissed it almost immediately after all I don’t know the family or their intentions and as far as I know the Mom did want them back at some point (she is in a half way house right now). But my BFF was persistent and asked again if I would consider adopting these two if presented with the option. I just laughed and said “Me raise a boy? Yeah not sure that will work out”

But truth be told the same thought ran through my head and it scared me. Honestly there is nothing wrong with the kids they are wonderful but really am I worthy of this. Why am I in their life right now and what role am I suppose to play? The mystery unravels slowly and I won’t know any more until two weeks from now when I meet the Mom myself in a planning meeting.

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