Well today I got myself all worked up and I know I should not but I am like a kid before Christmas when it comes to this adoption thing. Two weeks ago you recall I blogged about a sibling set in Ohio. I got an email last Thursday saying she would talk to my worker, I blogged my concerns about the delay in responding etc….
So today I come back from the bathroom and my co worker says “I think I heard your phone” I look and it was a number I did not recognize so I went back to work. About 5 minutes later it dawned on me to look at the number. The caller did not leave a message but it clearly said “Cincinnati, Ohio” under the number. Could it be about the kids? Were they trying to reach me? Why didn’t they leave me a message? Thousands of questions raced through my head and apparently I was so consumed I did not hear my co worker talking to me. She stood up called my name and said “Hey what’s up? Who called,everyone OK?”
I had to be honest I did not know who called but the number was the agency that the kids were associated with. I had called two weeks ago asking them to confirm they have my home study maybe that is why they called. My heart raced in anticipation…could they be calling because I am a match? Yes it was a long shot but no not outside of the possibility. What if it was nothing? What if it was something? Quickly I called back and practiced in my head what I would say. I left a basic message, got a call from this number if it was you sorry I missed it if it was not sorry to bother you type message. I went back to my desk and waited….would anyone call?
My head is going a million miles and hour and though I try to stop it I am unable. What if this is the call? I have to stop getting myself worked up with excitement as the fall down will be depressing and yet I hold out hope. I read into the lack of a message…I tell myself it can’t be a match because if it was they would have said call us back. Am I telling myself this so the disappointment is not so intense or am I just so use to rejection I am walking in familiar territory.
What was that old Heinz song “Anticipation is making me wait…its keeping me waiting”
Hoping they call back soon! Anticipation can be so hard. Sending you positive thoughts!