I was at work today when my BFF sent me an email. It said to check out this link for a child she had come across. I looked at the face and almost immediately I wanted to scoop her up. Yes I have felt this way before but usually about younger kids, this young lady was 8. But then I read the description…
“…significant developmental delays…expressive verbal skills are extremely low but her comprehensive verbal skills are better developed…”
As my BFF said to me in the email “this sounds just like M2, (my youngest daughter)” Well she is right M2 currently has global developmental delays and significant expressive verbal skills deficits. This child though is as old as M2 and functions at two years less according to one site I looked at when doing the research. I raised these concerns to my BFF (who is basically my main support) and said “Really do you think I should have two of them?” Her reply..”No harm asking, there is no guarantee you will be matched”
I am so torn. Part of me says yes do it because she needs someone but part of me is like really you want to restart the clock with no guarantees??? Having two children with special needs can be tough, three well it wouldn’t be unfamiliar territory because I have been there before. Many days sure I have the strength to do it other days..yeah getting out of my bed is a victory. Yes my BFF is right though just because I submit a home study doesn’t mean I will be a match but do I even set myself up for consideration?
Even as I type this the little voice in my head is saying “Hey stupid if God brings you to it God brings you through it” I guess I am just scared because I have been down this road before and the prospect of going through it again reminds me how un-confident I really am when it comes to how well I am doing helping my kids manage their disabilities and reach their potential.