I had to laugh at myself today as I sat in church listening to the Pastor talk about the readings. The theme today was waiting and how in this season of Advent we are waiting for the birth of Jesus. He talked at length about waiting and the feelings and I thought to myself yep that is right where I am.
I am waiting to be matched and no matter what I do I cannot make the process go faster just because I want it now. If I lose my temper, get ugly with people or run my mouth the only thing I am doing is hurting myself because waiting is part of the process. My kids are waiting too and no matter how many times a day they ask if today is the day nothing will make it come faster then it will come. It is frustrating and maddening and did I mention frustrating yet I know in the end it will be well worth it. I also know that I really do want the process to take time because I want a match to be a thought out event not a knee jerk oh she looks good sort of thing. It is after all a child’s life in the balance.
So while I wait I read articles and web sites. I learn about different cultures and adoption situations in an attempt to expand my knowledge for when the day actually comes. I read about the ICPC process and what it entails in case it will apply to my situation and I read TONS on attachment and bonding. I explore what it has meant to others to adopt an “older child” so I can learn the ups downs and in betweens in a vague hope of preparing myself for what will come. I know there are no real answers but hey if you already experienced this and had some success no reason for me to go through it blindly I figure.
But much unlike Advent there is no end date for this wait. Yes it will get here and yes it will be an awesome next chapter but when……well that is a fine question. Thanks for asking.